‘Never Really About God’

Readers of this Saturday’s edition of The Times were greeted with the clickbait headline that ‘Anglicanism was never really about God’. Despite some really stimulating Credo faith pieces in The Times over the last few months, I know this article caused a fair few people to splurt their coffee in horror!

Thankfully this Comment piece from journalist Matthew Parris was only on page 33, but for a good chunk of a full page Parris set out to decry the Church of England – and its Archbishops in particular – for such supposedly outrageous things as seeking to “‘plant’ new churches in untilled soil” or to see people come to faith in Jesus Christ. According to Parris, who acknowledges that he doesn’t “believe in God”, the Church should give up on trying to win over new converts and instead focus on it’s ‘shrinking market’ who value it being ‘theologically unchallenging, with a certain mild muzziness as to doctrine, and a sharp distrust of zeal’.

Of course, there’s more going on than meets the eye. Recently there’s been a raging debate within the Church of England around the place of ‘traditional parish ministry’. The ‘Save the Parish’ campaign was launched in August in response to the belief that C of E money is being redirected away from parochial ministry and a movement towards ‘further centralisation of power’. Parris will be aware of this – hence his concern that ‘bricks and stones and windows, ritual and music’ are being abandoned. These are valid concerns which will need addressing. But as many involved in ‘traditional parish ministry’ have pointed out, let’s not think that the Church of England is in the business of ‘saving parishes’ at the expense of losing God.

The Royal Verdict

However, there was another high profile comment given on the Church of England this past week, which Parris seems to have missed. Whilst the Queen was unable to be physically present at the opening of the Church of England’s new General Synod, she sent Prince Edward to deliver her opening address. And whilst recent episodes of the popular series The Crown may have depicted some royals as not really caring for the truth of the Christian faith, there was no mistaking what the Queen would say to Mr Parris. As my friend Dave Bish, himself not an Anglican, astutely observed:

To quote Her Majesty more fully:

“None of us can slow the passage of time; and while we often focus on all that has changed in the intervening years, much remains unchanged, including the Gospel of Christ and his teachings.

The list of tasks facing that first General Synod may sound familiar to many of you: Christian education; Christian unity; the better distribution of the ordained ministry to the needs of the population. But one stands out supreme: “to bring the people of this country to the knowledge and the love of God”.

It’s hard to argue with that. Our business is God. Everything flows from God. Everything points to God. Our good news is God’s gospel. That God so loved the world that he gave his only Son so that whoever believes in him shall not die but have eternal life.

All the liturgy, all the music, all the buildings. All the Foodbanks and debt advice and toddler groups. All the prophetically pointing to another way of doing Life. All the sharing the hope of the gospel in all sorts of creative and courageous and connected ways. We exist to bring the people of this country to the knowledge and love of God.

And Christianity in the UK has always had this missional heartbeat. Think of Augustine of Canterbury landing in Kent to bring a knowledge of Jesus Christ to pagans. Or Aidan and Cuthbert of Lindisfarne bringing the gospel to Northumbria. Or Tom Cranmer’s desire to articulate and multiply the gospel of grace alone so it resounded across the land.

Take God away and we can all go home now.

Learning from the New Testament

Of course, Parris speaks for some people. And of course, that people of varying scales of belief feel welcome in churches across the country is in many ways a positive indicator of places of welcome and authenticity.

Similarly, it’s clear the Church of England is having to do some adjusting of mindset. For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s surprising that the Archbishop of York’s line at Synod – “Let our death be a grand operatic death. Let it be something fantastic. Let’s not crawl into a corner” – has been picked up by the likes of Parris. My own take is that the language of death and decline are having to be used by some now because of a misemphasis in years gone by.

A more helpful description of the Church – and one found throughout the New Testament – is the imagery of exile and witness. We serve from the margins. We witness to a Better Story amidst an overwhelming cacophony of narratives. We know we’re not the only show in town. I think that’s why the new tagline, ‘A simpler, humbler, bolder Church’, resonates so well.

But is it true?

Strangely, as Madeleine Davies spotted, Parris wrote an article for the The Spectator nearly ten years ago that seemed to almost critique his current position. Really, it hits the nail on the head. So let’s give him the final word, albeit from his 2012 self:

“Jesus did not come to earth to offer the muzzy comforts of weekly ritual, church weddings and the rhythm of public holidays… If a faith is true, it must have the most profound consequences for a man and for mankind… Is it true? – that is the question.”

So UK retailer John Lewis released their much-anticipated Christmas advert a little earlier than normal. Here it is…

Past Its Best or A Favoured Tradition?

Undoubtedly the ‘What-did-you-think-of-It?’ water-cooler conversations don’t seem to be as prevalent as they were a few years, and maybe that’s because we’re all a bit fed-up with the JL Christmas ad formula by now.

As The Guardian put it, “Sweet children? Check. Bittersweet ending? Check. Maudlin cover version of a song you once liked? Check, in this case a version of Together in Electric Dreams that sounds like it was performed by someone who has tumbled down a well and just realised nobody is coming to rescue her. Such a total lack of John Lewis products that, if you showed the advert to someone who didn’t know what John Lewis was, they would be forced to assume it was some sort of spaceship repair company? Check. It is, plain and simple, a Christmas ad by numbers.”

As a church minister, the Christmas season is full of opportunities to share the Christian gospel – and it’s often Christmas adverts that can provide moments of engagement. After all, they are the common Christmas stories we’re consuming. How does the Christian message both connect and confront? I was therefore keen to explore how this year’s JL advert might serve up opportunities to share the hope of Jesus.

Encountering the Unexpected Guest

First up, being entitled ‘Unexpected Guest’ gives an obvious opportunity to connect with the gospel. In one sense, Jesus was not unexpected. His birth and coming had been long-foretold – and yet when he arrived, he was dismissed by many. Though he is God’s promised king, he came in a manner that many did not expect. And of course, for many people today, Christmas goes by with little thought given to Jesus Christ. We have some sense of their being the ‘real meaning of Christmas’ – but that’s probably more likely to be articulated as family, community and love, rather than a response to Jesus and his kingship. And that presents an obvious call to action: will we welcome this Unexpected Guests into our Christmas? What will that look like? We’d do well to consider the responses given to us in the birth accounts of Jesus, the shepherds, wise men and even Mary and Joseph themselves.

The story of the advert itself is heart-warming enough (even if some have called the alien child a little ‘creepy’ too!): Strangers becoming friends. Generosity and welcome. Finding commonality over divides. Going back to our old Christmas traditions and sharing them with others. Of course, the emotional resonance of all of those is heightened by the reality that last Christmas we were so limited in the way we could celebrate.

Your First Christmas Or The First Christmas

There’s then the fact that the advert has the simple closing caption, “For a Christmas as magical as your first”. Again, this plays on the fact that last Christmas was so unlike other years. We long to go back to the familiar. But as heralds of the Christian gospel, we know that the true ‘magic of Christmas’ will only be discovered when we go back to the very first Christmas. To miss the baby in the manger two-thousand years ago is to miss the wonder (or, to put it another way, ‘magic’) of the Incarnation, of God entering our world to save.

Put that all together and it’s a heartening call to encourage people to discover the ‘magic of Christmas’ through encountering the Unexpected Guest at the heart of the *very* first Christmas.

What did you make of it?

TV channel E4 is picking up high figures for the latest iteration, series 6, of its show, Married At First Sight. And media coverage is only set to increase with the ‘news’ that one of the contestants has been removed from the show!

I had the opportunity to discuss the series on local BBC Radio today. Here are a handful of reflections I sought to share…

1. Yes, #MAFS is ‘good TV’, but its popularity also reveals our deepest longings

Married at First Sight is certainly what we’d call ‘high drama TV’, especially after this week’s post-honeymoon episodes. I guess the sceptic would say that of course it’s been designed to entertain – and we certainly get that strange pleasure of spectating on people’s lives.

But for me, the fact it’s been really popular reveals two human longings that we all have. Firstly the longing to be truly loved, and secondly, the longing to be truly known.

And so often in life, we feel we’ve got to trade those off against each other. To be loved we’ve got to change who we are, put a filter on ourselves – or else, when we are known, warts & all, we can fear (or experience) being rejected. 

But I wonder if the popularity of the show shows that marriage is seen as a place where just maybe, we can be both loved and known.

2. Whilst we may feel the nature of the show ‘disrespects marriage’, it’s also an opportunity to consider our definition of ‘love’.

The current series is slightly vague about whether the marriages are actually legal as we’d traditionally understand it, which is revealing in itself.

And obviously there’s a whole range of characters and presumably motives for going on the show, but it seems there are some really sincere people – one person bravely confessed, ‘this is my last chance’. As a Christian minister, I love it when people see something in marriage that is attractive – often that security and faithfulness that come from being loved and known.

But ultimately it comes down to where do we get our definition of love? 

The old song, “I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me” -(apologies if that’s stuck in your head all day!) – asks a real important question.

And as a Christian minister it’s crucial for me that love is not defined by a Hallmark card sentimental feeling, or an all consuming Love Island style animal attraction. Love is defined at the cross of Jesus Christ – where we see a love that is all about giving.

And actually that’s why we care about marriage. Jesus’ love for his people is described as a marriage, because he says ‘I will take you’ – warts & all. At the cross, he says, “All that I have I give to you – and all that you have – the good, the bad and the ugly – I take it upon myself”.

3. Marriage involves a decision to commit to someone, so yes, be wise. But no one ever has full knowledge on their wedding day.

Part of my role is to help couples prepare for marriage – not just for a wedding day. Increasingly over the last decade there has been an immense pressure to make it all about The Wedding. Interestingly, I think the restrictions of lockdown weddings have actually been really refreshing for a lot of couples. I’ve heard people say, ‘I’m so glad we don’t have to worry about all the other stuff’.

But as someone makes those big promises to another person, of course we want people to do that wisely. It’s important that marriage is an informed choice, because it’s a big deal. It’s a decision to commit to loving someone.

But that said, let’s not pretend a couple can know each other completely on their wedding day. And likewise, no one knows what the future will bring. I took a lovely wedding the other day, and the couple were clearly really devoted to each other. But as I said in the service, even with a strong understanding and awareness of each other, the reality is you don’t know what ‘in sickness and in health’ or ‘for richer, for poorer’ is gonna mean for you. That’s the point. Come what may you are committing to love.

4. The best marriages have three people in them.

As someone who has been married eleven years, I can tell you the ‘L plates’ are still well and truly on. Marriage is full of joys, but it can be hard too – because we’re messy people.

And that’s where we often say, ‘marriage is a three chord strand’. It’s not just about the couple. We need the support of family, friends and communities, but we also need to bring God into it.

For me, I’m glad there is a third person in our marriage. A living knowledge of God – who He is, what He’s done for us, His transforming presence – brings with it those daily rhythms of saying sorry, of putting ego and selfishness to one side, of learning to forgive and bear with one another. True self-care involves seeing we were made and designed by a Creator. It’s mad to think we can do life in God’s world – whether we’re married or not – without Him.

This is my experience, but ultimately ‘doing marriage with God’ brings the strength, character change and internal resources to grow a healthy marriage.

5. You can spot a healthy view of marriage because it doesn’t denigrate singleness.

A number of people have pointed out to me that MAFS felt like it has a very negative view of singleness.

I love people considering marriage and I love taking wedding services. But marriage isn’t the ‘be all and end all’. And any individual or couple who make it such is surely destined for frustration and disappointment, damaging themselves and their spouse in the process. No human person can bear such a burden.

But there’s another marriage we need to factor in. The Bible speaks of an eternal wedding between Jesus Christ and all those who have said ‘I do’ to him. That is the relationship we were made for. Human marriages aren’t meant to bear the weight of all our expectation, hopes and purposes for life. We need something bigger than that.

The wonder of the good news at the heart of Christianity is that Jesus says, ‘My life for yours’. “I’m offering to love you, faults and flaws thrown in.” Whether we’re single or married; whether we’d hope to be married or have been married; whether we’ve had experiences of being let down or can’t bear the thought of opening ourselves up to another person, Jesus says, ‘My life for yours’. That’s a marriage made in heaven.

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What do you make of the show? I’d love to know what you think!